Pretty wheelchair girl

I completed my 40th year on planet earth in November and it’s much more underwhelming than I expected. It’s been so uneventful in terms of simply an age that I haven’t even really felt called to write about it, I just feel pressured by my own presuppositions. Why did I think 40 was going to be such a big deal?

I mean, insert preconceived notions of being a woman raised by American millennial societal standards… I paradoxically want the lifelong love, drama and commitment from “the Notebook” and also to be the object of multiple bottles of champagne being poured on me while partying with rappers on a yacht. MTV raised me with a specific kind of womanly standard that did not include being in your 40s… or quadriplegic. We all need to be young and hot and fuckable forever. Right?

With the assistance of my sister-in-law, I planned an entire family vacation around this event… matching hot pink shirts and all… only to feel exactly the fucking same as I always do for the last few years: less tolerant of other humans and ready for bed by 9 PM… And family cruise vacation challenges those conditions CONSTANTLY.

I recently googled “statistics on women in their 40s” and the results are hilarious and relatable. “What a woman should expect at age 40? They may feel testy and short, tired and annoyed.” Yes Google, that about sums it up. But then there’s also this little gem: “What does turning 40 mean to a woman? Turning 40 is a significant milestone; in your 40s, you will start to be able to do some things for yourself. Your children are hopefully older by now, which will free up extra time for you and your hobbies and interests. You would be more settled in your career and the work path you want to take.”

Although it hasn’t necessarily felt like a significant milestone, I have had plenty of thoughts around what’s next for me. My sons have been moved out of our house for more than a year, and last fall they both moved to completely different cities for college. It’s truly just me and my plans from here on out. And I swear to fucking God if I hear one more trite comment about my “empty nest” I’m gonna pay someone in India to punch a baby dolphin. Maggie in her 40s has no tolerance for insensitive platitudes.

With my 40th year complete, I’ve spent this first part of my 41st year progressing in my career and education. I graduate with my Masters in Public Administration in May, and I have been and will continue to travel at least once a month for work related business. It makes me feel… cool and adulty. Emo teenager Maggie would be so proud!

However, since emo teenager Maggie still has needs as well, I’ll spend the latter part of my 41st year going to all the concerts that I already have tickets for… and probably a few more that I haven’t purchased yet. People intolerance and bed times be damned. And who knows… maybe this is the year of The Notebook AND the yacht.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted 🙂

Image description: Picture of me sitting with legs crossed in a short green dress at Miami South Beach on my 40th birthday.