Pretty wheelchair girl

There’s something about surfing that is so… romantic. It’s been idolized in about a billion songs throughout the last century, plus movies, media etc., all project this fun and lighthearted kind of romanticized image of surfing. It’s always really appealed to me… or maybe it’s just surfer dudes, honestly… because I mean, surfers are fucking hot, right? Although, I used to skateboard and snowboard, so I don’t think it’s all together surprising that surfing has always been appealing to me.

I wasn’t planning on surfing. I was just on vacation in Hawaii with my family, and happily laying in the sun on Waikiki beach. There was hundreds of other people around, but my wheelchair parked at the end of the sand ramp stuck out like a sparkling unicorn horn. That is how he found me.

Suddenly, I was approached by a very enthusiastic man named Komahlu. He said he saw my chair, and came looking for me because he wanted to take me surfing. He showed me videos of other people with disabilities that he’s taken surfing, and insists that he would love to take me out to try. So… how the fuck do I say no to that? Although, I was a little skeptical, and pretty tipsy on Tito’s, and I didn’t have both of my sons with me right then to help, so I asked if we could meet up the next day, and he agreed.

The next day I got to the beach a little bit before our meet up time. I had both sons with me, my best friend and her two kids, and my sons girlfriend. Plenty of helpers willing to make this beach accessible to me. Plus, if my surfing guide didn’t show, the worst thing that would happen is another beach day with my family. So I started getting really cozy comfy, sippin the Tito’s again and just fucking sponging up the glorious sunshine. And then there he was… Just as suddenly and he appeared the day before. Like, this guy just fucking apparates like a vampire on and off the beach or something. He asked if I was ready and I said “fuck yeah.”

I tried to not think about it too much, actually. I didn’t want to get scared and quit out. I wanted to trust this person, and he seemed very confident in his abilities, and he showed me a video of another, much larger person that he had taken out. So this was gonna be OK, right? Me and the boys were looking at each other with this question in all of our eyes. They were looking to me for direction, so I was trying to project the strong confident, yes we got this, yes this is OK, vibe. And then it all happened very quickly. The boys carried my beach chair to the water where my surfing guide was waiting with the board. They used the towel under me to slide my body from the beach chair to the board, and positioned my body so the board was stable. The group helped him push me out into the ocean.

Suddenly I was gliding on top of the water. I’m laying flat on my back, so all I can really see is the beautiful blue sky and the strange Hawaiian man standing at the end of the board with a paddle, literally in control of my life. It was so incredibly serene. I didn’t feel scared, I just felt peace and blissful serenity. The warm sun does something magical to my body. And the combination of the warm sun and the cold salty ocean resemble this beautiful, natural yin and yang that feels almost primal. There are few times in life when you get to be as truly present as an experience like this forces you to be. I was literally soaking it all in.

Suddenly I noticed we were pretty far away from everyone, and the beach, and finally I started getting scared. What the fuck am I doing? What if this thing fucking tips over? How is this one dude going to save me? Honestly, I was thinking he was just going to put me on a surfboard and walk around in the ocean for a bit next to my family… no, this motherfucker was lining us up to catch a wave. I tell him, ”Shouldn’t we go back closer to the beach? I’m getting freaked out.” My thalassophobia started kicking in, and I imagined all kinds of creepy sea life under and around me, and they would be picking my bones clean when I drown and die by a wave blowing me off this surfboard.

My guide jumps off the surfboard and into what I thought was the deep ocean. The water is waist high, and he is not a tall man. He reassures me that we are not in deep water and that everything will be fine, and that I can trust him. It was so nice… but his overconfidence came off as egotistical and was not helping me trust him. But also, at this point, what are my fucking options? So trust I did. He jumped back on the surfboard and is standing at my feet with a paddle. He suddenly starts using the paddle at a much quicker pace than he had before and I feel the board pick up speed significantly. I hear the water quickly trickling by, I feel a slight warm breeze on the back of my head and shoulders and I see the wave at my feet generating this ride. It was over so quickly. ”Did we just catch a wave?” I was completely astonished… I honestly didn’t think surfing meant fucking surfing. He giggled at me and then reassured me again, because we were going back for another.

He started asking me bonding questions, so we had a soul bonding conversation on the water about the past, life, love and family. He told me about the healing properties of the Hawaiian ocean and how it does something special for women in particular. Apparently it’s not the same for men, because “the cold water shrinks their balls,” but women are susceptible to some healing Hawaiian magic. I’ve always been a lover of witchery, magic, Voodoo and miracles, so here’s hoping that magical H2O did something miraculous to me just for having lady parts.

We caught two more waves while we soul bonded. Occasionally the water would run over my face and in my eyes and mouth. It is always so much saltier than I expect it to be, yet doesn’t burn my eyes as bad as I would’ve thought. And the feeling is all together invigorating. The taste, the smell, the feel of the water and the experience as a whole is so all-encompassing. Nothing has ever lasted so long, yet was over so quickly. The time dilation is astonishing when you’re petrified, and even more so when you’re overtaken with wonderment.

We paddled back to shore where I was met by my sons who helped to transfer me back on to a beach chair. They carried me back up the beach to our warm spot in the sand with our shady umbrella. I dried out in the warm sun singing along to 90s alternative music with my sons and my BFF, and a shit eating grin that just won’t go away.

Being on the open water, so free, yet at the complete mercy of something so vast and expansive and UTTERLY unconcerned with your existence. Yet you play with it. It’s like a kinky Dom-Sub experience with nature. And I am so here for it.